Family is more than blood
I made so many friends working at the bookstore. And while I don’t have consistent contract with all of them, I made everlasting memories with them all. I understand that life goes on and people change. It’s ok to make new friends and let some go. I consider my closest friends to be apart of my family. No matter the distance, I love these people so much and I wouldn’t trade their friendship for anything.

We are stronger as a pack
I’m one of those people who prefers to work alone. I enjoy having my own space and the ability to work at my own pace. However working in the bookstore taught me that it’s not always a bad thing to work with others. We worked as a team, the same way an ant hill functions. There was consistent support for any situation even if we didn’t always get along. And that’s fine. What’s important is to find a way to work through the tough times so that nothing falls apart.

Sacrifices must be made
I’ve never been a morning person. So it would always rip my soul into pieces when I saw I had a morning shift. That meant I had to be up at 5am to be able to be at work at 6am. The only good thing about it would be an early shift end. As much as I hated it, I made the best of the situation. I would take audiobooks with me to listen to as I shelved. Sometimes the hardest way to make something better is to challenge yourself to love it. In the end I would find those early morning hours to be the most peaceful ones. And I loved them.

Put your health first
In America, there’s the phrase “the customer is always right.” In some cases, it’s true while in others it’s not. Your personal health should be the most important above all else. When I began to realize that I was losing sleep over working at the bookstore, I knew something had to be done. I was working there and the going to work for my dad’s printing store after that. It was difficult working both jobs and keeping a healthy mind. In the end I quit the bookstore in favor of the calmer customers and better hours that my dad’s store provided me with. And of course working with my dad allowed me to spend time with him.

I knew that leaving the bookstore would be bitter sweet. I would be leaving all my good friends behind. But in the end I knew it was the better choice for me. Management had changed hands and it was a good time to move on to greener pastures. I do miss the good times we had but it was a wonderful stepping stone towards the future.

The post What my first job taught me appeared first on A Daily Lee.

1. Moved out of my comfort zone
I could have stayed in America and dated in my hometown but instead I had bigger dreams.

2. Paid off my credit card debts
I just had one card but it’s paid off and cancelled. I don’t need it in Europe. It’s been amazing not having to worry about it.

3. Have fond memories to look back on
My time in California means so much to me. Sometimes I feel sad I left it behind but I never regret moving.

4. Took my cooking skills a step further
I’ve always wanted to bake so I decided to just do it. No regrets (except maybe calorie wise)!

5. Travelled to a country where I didn’t know the language
I’ve been to Spain, Portugal, France, and Italy without knowing a lick of the language! Lucky for me, everyone was so kind and understanding.

6. Admired myself
This seems self centered, I know. But if you’ve taken a selfie at some point, you’ve admired yourself!

7. Let go of the past
This one has been hard for me. I’ve got a lot of my childhood that still bothers me today but I remind myself that it’s behind me. My parents are human too and we all make mistakes.

8. Knew what I wanted in life
I’ve never had motherly instincts but when it comes to dogs… I have the biggest soft spot. For months before we got Booker I would call out every dog we saw walking. I still do that today. My dogs are my world and I can’t imagine life without them.

9. Treat myself
I did this a lot in 2018 and I want to continue into this year. This included figuring out what my body and mental state needs and feeding it accordingly.

10. Binge watched TV
This isn’t normal of me but I’ve had two shows (recently) that I’ve binged watched from start to finish. Bee and PuppyCat and Steven Universe.

11. Donated blood
I did this in highschool but never made the time to go back. I think it’s important to do at least once if you’re up to it!

12. Take Advantage Of Every Weekend
Sander and I do our best to make the most of our weekends. Sometimes we go out on adventures and other times we just hang at home. Either way we spend the time communicating and making sure we’re both happy and comfortable.

13. Established my dream job
What I’m doing now has been a dream I wasn’t aware of. When I was young I wanted to be a photographer and I wanted to write. I guess I’m doing that now.

14. I’ve learned to say sorry
I’ll admit I’m stubborn (not to the level that some Dutch are) and I find it hard to be apologetic. I do my best to not step on toes but sometimes it’s unavoidable. The best way to remedy this is to be sorry and mean it.

15. Decorate And Renovate
Our little flat is looking like it came off of Pinterest. Not because that’s how we want it to be, but because it’s what we find comfortable. And I’m damn proud of it!

16. Learned to get organized
I’ve slowly been getting organized and this year I’m taking it to the next level with a Bullet Journal!

17. Started a collection.
I have a few collections that I’m working on currently. I have a few book series collections. I’ve also got one comic book series that we go to Amsterdam for! I also have a pin board collection that’s been coming along quite well. I want to share it once it’s a little fuller.

18. Have a day dedicated to my childhood
Every so often I sit down and watch some movies from my childhood. Most recently I found A Troll in Central Park and I have yet to watch The Pebble and the Penguin!

19. Learned a new language
In highschool I learned Spanish, in college I did a semester of Japanese and now I’m waist deep in Dutch. It’s important that I learn it because I live in The Netherlands now.

20. Figured out what I wanted in a partner
After being in a relationship for nearly 10 years I thought I had known what I wanted. I was wrong. Instead I came to realize I wanted someone I could be around and never grow tired of. I’m an introvert and just being around people exhausts me. Sander has no such effect and I feel great being around him.

21. Set a reading goal
This is year three of tackling the Goodreads reading challenge. I’ve set the bar low this time because I want to read novels instead of comics. I hope it goes well!

22. Saw musical artists I loved play live
We got to see a lot of bands last year and we have one coming up in March!

23. Forgave my for mistakes
Life is too short to remember every mistake that’s been made. Learn and grow so that the next time will be easier.

24. Write about good things in life
This blog space has become a place where I write about the good things in life. Just because this space is positive, doesn’t mean that every day is a walk in the sun. I do have hard days, some more difficult than most, but reminding myself to stay positive helps me remain optimistic.

25. Stopped having regrets for the things I missed
I often think about the things I left behind and miss. How I should have studied harder or took some situations more seriously. But alas, we are human! I try a little each day to move forward.

26. Took on a hobby that challenges me
I’m working on drawing but it’s been a long road because I’m a perfectionist. I plan on stretching out a bit more with my bullet journal.

27. Stopped living for social media
When I began to do things for myself, I felt the pressure of social media slip away. I do want to get back to posting on my Instagram but I have to find something I love to photograph.

28. Celebrated Gay Pride
I have a handful of gay friends and the least I can do is support them in this small way. The Pride Amsterdam was beautiful and empowering. I love that Amsterdam embraces its sexuality!

29. Traveled to Europe multiple times
This one is on my mother. She wanted us to travel a lot but I don’t think she imagined I would leave America!

30. Accepted my flaws
I would say being a perfectionist is a huge flaw of mine. But now I use it now to my advantage. I’ve meet so many people who believe that I’m Dutch because my pronunciation is nearly spot on. It makes me feel proud that I’m so critical of who I am!

31. Learned how to play piano
I had piano classes when I was a child but don’t expect me to play something now! The experience was fun though and I feel like my fingers are stronger because of it.

The post 31 Things I did before 31 appeared first on A Daily Lee.

• I turned the big 30
• We saw Paramore, Pale Waves, Fall Out Boy, Halestorm, and Chvrches live.
• We went to an Asian Market.
• I completed book 2/4 Dutch exam books.
• We played a ton of Pokémon GO.
• I made new and interesting friends.
• We watched a lot of wonderful movies.
• We walked in Vondelpark, Erenstein Park, the Keukenhof, and Oosterpark.
• I looked deeper into self care and how to improve my mental health.
• We went to Dutch Comic Con, Anime Con, Moshi Moshi Fair, and Japan Festival.
• I wrote the first draft of a children’s book.
• We celebrated Koningsdag, Pride Amsterdam, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.
• We went to the Van Gogh Museum, ARTIS Royal Zoo, and the Tropenmuseum.
• I read 30 books for the Goodreads challenge.
• We went to Maastricht and stayed at a vacation park.
• I adopted new and healthier eating habits.
• We went apple picking in Olmenhorst and enjoyed beautiful apple pancakes.
• We celebrated the dogs’ birthdays.

These are just some of the noteworthy things we did this year. It doesn’t include all our weekends out in Amsterdam. It doesn’t include the plans for the future. And honestly I’m in a point of my life where I’m very excited about the future. I can say that the 20 year old me wasn’t too excited about anything. I’ve grown and changed a lot since then. What makes me happy is there’s still room to grow.

Happy 2019 everyone! May this year be brighter and bolder than the last. May it bring laughter and hopefully a better tomorrow.

The post 2018 in review appeared first on A Daily Lee.

Sitting under the Christmas Tree
I had a collection of Pokémon figures that I took with me everywhere. This included under the Christmas tree. Once our fake tree was set up in the living room, you could always find me under it. I loved playing with my figures between the branches of the tree. I would have epic stories play out as I sat under the glowing lights and bobbles. It was always a wonderful time for me. I had solitude and my imagination. As a child, what more could you ask for?

Watching Holiday Movies
Once December hits in America, almost every TV channel plays Christmas movies nonstop. Most evenings my brother and I would curl up with our mom on the couch and watch them. We would drink warm chocolate and fill our cups with marshmallows. These movie nights ended as we got older but I still hold them close to my heart.

The Neighborhood Lights
My earliest Christmas memories are of the four of us piling into the car and touring the neighborhood. Most of the houses in our area would fill their yards with magical displays and bright lights. My dad would drive up and down the streets so that we could have a private light show. I would always stare up in awe at the towering displays and inflated snow globes. We only decorated the interior of our house so it was exciting to see what the neighbors had to share.

Going out on Christmas Eve
It was a tradition to go to the movies on Christmas Eve. We’d see a holiday movie or a children’s movie that wasn’t too late. We used to do the works too. We’d order a popcorn and sneak in some snacks. After that we would come home and get ready for bed because it was be so close to Santa’s arrival!

Sleeping in the living room
On Christmas Eve my mother would pull out the mattress from our couch. The three of us would sleep in the living room and talk until we grew sleepy. Once we were asleep she would creep out of bed and hide our gifts under the tree. In the morning my brother and I would wake up excited for gifts. But we would always be upset we had missed Santa!

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Needless to say I can’t stop writing.

I’ve participated in every Nanowrimo from 2009 (when I first discovered it) to 2015. I didn’t write in 2016 because we got Booker that year. I didn’t write in 2017 because I couldn’t find the inspiration to. This year I pushed away everything that told me I couldn’t write. So for most of this month I sat down and wrote. I say most because my schedule was a bit rocky at times.

In the end I completed the goal, the goal of 50,000 words.

I am most at peace when I write but I could have never gotten to that point alone. My parents were too busy when I was growing up so they gave me audiobooks to listen to. During their divorce, I spent hours by myself concocting stories that would combat my difficult emotions. In the end these stories gave me the most reassurance that things would be ok.

So I need to extend my thanks. A thank you to all those people who penned my favorite stories. A big hug for all those times when I felt like I had no one but a book by my side. A heartful handshake to those who slaved for months or years over tales that poured from their heads. All your words never went to waste in my eyes. In fact they drove me to pursue the same passion. I can’t imagine a life without writing. This is why I encourage it as much as I can.

The trouble is, when it comes to writing… It’s so hard to stop. There’s an invisible force that compels you to keep going even if no one is watching. In fact that’s the best time to write. There’s no judgement on what comes from your imagination. It’s the euphoria of pure freedom in its rawest and simplest form.

So once again, a huge thank you to all the writers for their stories. In my most desperate time of need, I had those fantasties and words to guide me through the dark. I am who I am because of them and I cannot be more thankful.

The post A letter to my favorite authors appeared first on A Daily Lee.

Holiday plans
Winter is coming fast and every city will be hosting Christmas Markets. While I love to browse around these, they’re always packed with people. There’s a fun Dutch saying, “kijken, kijken, maar niet kopen” (look, look, but don’t buy). Most of the people who do buy things are often tourists. We like to indulge in the fresh stroopwafels though. I’m looking forward to some warm and gooey caramel! We also have to start decorating for Christmas. This means grabbing our box from storage and hoping no spiders got into it!

Dutch
I’m working almost done with my 2nd book. This language book covers more advanced Dutch. The chapters ranged from topics like Dutch customs and children care to looking for work and government interactions. I can’t say I’m 100% on the vocabulary but I know enough to get me by. In the spring I’ll be looking into starting the test taking process. There are at least 5 of them so saying that I’m nervous is an understatement. I’ll have to buckle down and review before I head into the testing centers.

This blog
This space has grown by leaps and bounds this year. There have been many times I’ve logged on and shocked to see my viewers go through the roof. It’s the biggest blessing I could ever ask for. This is only my 2nd year of full time blogging (even then it’s only 3 posts a week). I want to create more once my Dutch integration has been complete but for now I’m over the moon with it’s growth. I’ve learned so much during this year and I only want to grow more to create more.

The post An Autumn update on us appeared first on A Daily Lee.

DIY Halloween Decor
I had so much fun last year making my Nightmare Before Christmas jars. This year I want to do a little more around the house. I’ve already begun to think of how I’d like to spruce up the place for autumn but I’ll share those ideas when the time comes. I want to keep the house looking modern but festive as well. Thankfully there are a ton of places online to look for inspiration!

Autumn Fashion
Ah yes, sweater weather. A dip in the temperature makes me so happy! I get to wear sweaters, scarves and boots! Taking a walk in the rain is fun for now (winter rain will be so cold) so I need to treasure it. I don’t think I’ll be buying more sweaters this season though. I’ll be discussing why I’ve decided to not purchase any new clothing! I’d like to see if I can make it to the new year without buying anything else.

Stormy weather
I know it sounds like I’m a bit crazy but hear me out. There’s something about the moody weather that throws me into a creative mood. I want to do more crafty things when I hear rain on the windows. I want to create delicious treats when the weather turns cold. Maybe it has to do with me being a winter baby. It could also be that I’m a little crazy! Either way I’m ready to sit down and think of something fun to write about for Nanowrimo.

Holiday planning
We all know that as soon as Halloween is over, the ideas roll in for Thanksgiving. This year we’re planning on continuing the tradition that we started last year. Since last year went so well I want to make maybe one more dish. I’m not sure on what to make. I’m considering turning to one of my favorite dishes, Indian Wedding Rice. I also need to prepare for holiday baking. I want to continue to eat healthy so I doubt I’ll be going overboard like I did last year. But there’s always a little room for cake!

The post What I’m looking forward to this autumn appeared first on A Daily Lee.

I figured now would be a good time to give an update on how everything has been going.

Still learning
I’m now onto my 2nd book of Dutch. I’ve completed the 1st level which is the A1. Currently I’m in the middle of the A2 textbook. I can’t say the language is getting easier though. Words and sentences that I’m familiar with are easy enough. I’m struggling now with the advanced sentences. I also have trouble recalling the words I need. Another neighbor is in the same boat. She’s completed everything but the last step of the Netherlands courses. She assures me I’m over worrying about the exams I need to take. But I have no faith in myself! One of the only reasons why I got straight A’s in school was because of extreme cramming an hour before a test. I mean I was a good student but… My memory is pretty bad when it comes to important things!

Seasons are still breathtaking
We’ve had cold weather the past few days and I love it. It feels so good to wear boots and jackets. Summer isn’t over yet but the weather here is never consistent! Even so, I still love that the seasons change. In California we had summer and then a cold summer. Even during Christmas we had people walking around in shorts and tank tops. In The Netherlands you need to bundle up or freeze! While it’s a magical time to watch the seasons change, I’m not used to it at all. Now I go out on the balcony to judge what I need to wear for the day. Sometimes I still start out in shorts for the morning but end up with a jacket before bed!

Pulling it together
It’s been an emotional rollercoaster for me but I’m finally getting my act together. I’m still having issues with returning to a solid place of happiness. I’m finding ways of coping though! I’ve begun to eat right again and have lost 10 lbs so far. I no longer sulk in unhappiness. But I still have troubles concentrating on one task at a time. I still can’t sit down and read like I used to. Instead I organize or take notes for things I need to do. If I’m having a tough day I put on a movie I enjoy and try and get myself into a better headspace. I’ll admit the dogs are helping much more than they know!

Making new friends
While I can’t say I’ve been more social with the Dutchies, I’ve begun to make friends in an unexpected space. I’ve found a group of people online that I can talk to and have fun with. We play online games together and spend a lot of time laughing. I know, I should be making more friends in my neighborhood. But I still don’t feel like I fit in. Online I get to hang out every day with these friends and still be productive in my own life. Since it’s all online, I don’t end up exhausted as I do when being with other people in person. And that’s a wonderful thing!

The post 2 Years in The Netherlands appeared first on A Daily Lee.

I love to keep this a positive space but I recently watched a video that struck a chord with me. I’ve been watching Sorelle Amore for a few months now because of her powerful storytelling through photography. Yet her most recent video, Advanced Selfie Challenge: Dark Emotional Heartbreak Edition really connected with me. She opens the video with a powerful message:

“Do I think that creators are twisted? Yeah. I really do think. I think we are. We’re demented, really broken inside. Really tortured… by this humongously powerful instuffable irrational desire to create. That’s all we can think about and we pretend like we don’t need to. Convince ourselves that the need for this expression is irrational. So we morph into society. Pretend we don’t have to pretend. That we are okay if we don’t create. That we can breathe normally if we don’t create. But we can’t. Well we pretend but damn it hurts. And a lot of people think that creators especially online, that were all full of shit. That we are oversharing, for views but they forget that we’re human and that we experience things just like everybody else. And that we draw on inspiration from those sources. Are we crazy? Yeah. But when you are faced with nothing but heartbreak do you put on a happy face and pretend everything’s okay or do you use that to your advantage?”

Growing up, writing was a huge part of my life. It helped me cope with a lot of in home issues that I faced. When I had no one to confide in, I turned to writing. A dream of mine was to become an author and share my words with the world. I got encouragement from anyone who would read what I had to say. Except from my family.

For them, it was important to follow in the footsteps of my elders. Become a doctor and save mankind. I pushed and shoved and did anything but that. My family told me that being a creative type would get me nowhere in life. All I was wasting my time by doing what I loved the most. In the end I kept fooling myself and kept telling myself I was happy. What I should have stuck with my guns. I should have devoted myself to learning the art of storytelling.

Now days I find that if I want to write creatively, it has to be for myself. The world is too busy for me and the pace I’ve decided to take. And I’m coming to terms with it. But it’s a difficult journey. Now days when I want to sit and write I can’t find the motivation and passion I had when I was younger. I feel burnt out before I’ve even begun. Which is why I think it’s so important to follow your instincts to where they take you. For me, there are many terrible memories that come along with the desire to write. One of them is the idea that I’ll never be good enough.

Instead of wasting my time moping around writing, I’ve begun to draw again. I can’t say I’m any good at either of these two arts but it helps. Being creative helps cope with years of familial rejection and disappointment. It helps power my decisions to push away the toxicity in my life. It helps fuel that burning desire I have to create things from nothing. Even if I’m the only one who gets to experience it.

I think that if there’s anything to take away from today’s post, it’s believe in yourself and what makes you happy. Only you can provide yourself with the happiness you deserve. Follow your heart even if others say it’s the worst choice you can make. They aren’t living your life, you are. And if you have a burning desire to create then do it. The only thing holding you back is yourself.

The post My complicated relationship with creativity appeared first on A Daily Lee.

Believe in yourself
I’ve always had an inclination towards the artistic. I came from an Indian family where being either a doctor or engineer was the only path to happiness. Instead I fought to be myself and I met with a lot of resistance. I was told I was making a mistake by following my passions. Today none of that matters. I know what I want and I know how to get it. Of course I had to put in the time and effort to make myself who I am now but the struggles I had are in the past. They made me who I am now and everything was worth it.

Know the difference between dreams and aspirations
We all love to dream. But there’s a difference between dreaming and having aspirations. When I was 20 years old I dreamed of being a published author with a thousand book deals under my name. I wanted to have a flat in the heart of London and two dogs to love. Instead I became a blogger living in The Netherlands. While my dreams didn’t come true, my aspirations of being a writer and living in the EU did. Dreams are the absolute best outcomes we can hope for, even if they aren’t obtainable. Aspirations are achievable goals we can reach for. Decide which is which and don’t give up.

You’re different but the same
It’s going to be difficult to be unique with a world population of a little over 7.3 billion people. How is that a bad thing? You have your own thoughts and experiences. But there are others who encounter similar situations. When you feel the most alone, you aren’t. It’s comforting to know that even if I’m not vocal about my struggles, I’m not alone in them. It’s ok to feel the way you do especially when you’re young and lost.

Set reasonable goals
The world is an open book at 20 years old. I should have focused on bettering myself via a good education and good grades. I thought I couldn’t amount to anything because what I wanted was not the vision of my family. Instead of working hard, I looked for any way to escape. I played video games instead of working on my education and everything I did suffered. I wish I could have told myself to focus because my goals were obtainable. But at 20, we don’t like to listen to reason. There’s little planning for the future. Now I set daily goals so that I can stay on task. It’s easier that way to stay in control and make sure things get done.

Don’t underestimate yourself
Being a perfectionist from a young age is difficult. I often want to try new things but get frustrated when it’s not perfect the first time around. Developing skills and talents takes time and being 20 years old doesn’t help. You always want to be better even if you impress everyone around you. Keep pushing through and don’t stop learning. You’ll develop new and better skills when you’re never happy with how things turn out. Embrace the frustration and keep going.

The post Advice for my 20 year old self appeared first on A Daily Lee.