Can you blame us though? The last few years have been rough on everyone. And the world hasn’t gotten much better since I last wrote. But lets get back to some positive feelings for now. Spring is finally here in The Netherlands. It’s impossible to avoid it. I figured now would be the best time to return to this space. The beginning of a new season always fills me with joy. Here is what I’ve been up to, along with a few updates on how we’ve been.

In full bloom
It’s been a strange year, what with many flowers having already bloomed in January. But there’s a lot more to be see in our area. And I’m so thankful for it. The sight of bright flowers lifts my mood and gets me excited for the future. There’s so much to talk about and I’ve taken a long enough break!

Catching up on reading
I’ve not forgotten my reading challenges but I’m kinder on myself this year. My goal is to read at least 10 books. I’m getting older and my time becomes more valuable with each passing year. This year I want a mix of genres I love, but also books that are relatable to me. I’ve finished reading Please Don’t Sit on My Bed in Your Outside Clothes: Essays by Phoebe Robinson, and I found her book to be a great mix of relatable and eye opening. If you’re in the mood for a bit of comedy and a bit of grounding… Then you should take a look at this title, I had a great time with it. I want to read more books about the Asian-American immigrant experience so I’m on the look out. More updates to come when I get a hold of some good titles!

Gamer Hype
I’ve been playing games with friends on and off but I always value my alone time. I’m trying to balance out playing 2 different Pokémon titles, Animal Crossing and a few mobile games. I’d also love to write a post on Guild Wars 2 again. The expansion End of Dragons came out a few weeks back and the story still tugs at my heart. Guild Wars has been a huge part of my life as well and I’m willing to preach about it to anyone who will listen, haha.

Future Plans
Sander and I have a few music shows planned out, 1 or 2 conventions, and a 2 week holiday with his parents. You can be sure I want to write about everything. I haven’t been slacking in self improvement department. On top of continuing my Youtube channel, I’ve put in a lot of time learning to draw. Yes, I’ve been at it a while now… but with drawing, you can never stop learning. I signed up for 2 Domestika courses as well!

I’ve completed the Fantastical Illustrations with Procreate by Michael Relth course and I’m still working on my final piece for Atmospheric Scenes in Procreate: Paint with Color and Light by Ramona Wultschner. These courses have challenged the way I look at art as a whole, and pushed me to explore what I want to draw. It feels amazing to spend a week (or in my case, 2 or even 3) working on a piece to have it come together in the end. I’d love to take Drawing Appealing Characters with Personality by Magdalina Dianova, but I need to figure out if I need to practice anatomy more before I dive in.

So for now, those are all the updates I have. I’d love to write more but some weeks are uninteresting. As things start opening up, and we start getting out, there will be more to talk about. If you’ve been with me this long, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. We all had a difficult adjusting to the changes in our lives and I couldn’t find the motivation to write. I do love writing and I hope I can do more of it this year.

The post Welcome spring – some updates appeared first on A Daily Lee.

Lots of baking
Oh boy. After Christmas I went on a baking spree. Sander got to enjoy cookies, cakes, and other delicious baked goods almost every week. I rediscovered my love for peanut butter cookies and I’m still over the moon for cheesecake. I recently discovered Fit Waffle Kitchen after it’s creator, Eloise Head, had a recipe go viral. I’ve love baking and while it’s not the healthiest, I want to be a better baker. So a goal I want to achieve, is finding balance between healthy eating and enjoying sugary goodies.

Prepared to get fit
I used to exercise regularly before I left California. We had a treadmill and I used to spend at least an hour on it every night. It was such a great way to release stress and keep my body active. We don’t have a lot of room in our flat though. I did yoga every so often but I’ve slacked off a lot in the last few years. So I decided to take the plunge and get a Ring Fit Adventure. It’s been a blast so far! I don’t mind using the Switch to work out either. I used to use my Wii and Wii Fit when I couldn’t use the treadmill. I’d love to be able to work out an hour a day again but I need to build up my stamina! I look forward to getting fit this year because it’s about damn time!

Video gaming
And it’s no secret that I love playing video games. I have a few games on my phone that I love. And of course I still play Animal Crossing every day. But I also spent a lot of time PC gaming with Cyberpunk 2077. After the huge drama with Cyberpunk 2077 release, a new update was released for better stability and other issues. Unfortunately for me, a save file of about 40 hours went missing. So it may be some time before I return to Night City. But I’ve also spent weekend evenings playing various PC games with my brother and our childhood/best friend. My brother lives in California, our friend lives in Nevada. It’s been a great way for the 3 of us to spend time together because it’s impossible to visit.

Light reading and shows
I used to read a lot of Manga in my youth. I was never a huge comic book fan but Manga was my jam. And now I’ve returned to it with a hunger for all the juicy stories. It’s a new bedtime routine that I look forward to every night. After a hot shower, I get into bed and read for 30-40 minutes. It’s a fantastic way to wind down. I still have concentration issues with regular books so reading Manga is a good way for me to read in general. A title that I’m in love with right now is called A Man and His Cat. It’s about an exotic cat deemed too ugly for adoption… That is until an elderly gentleman comes along and introduces the kitty to his new home. It’s a sweet and heartwarming tale of how everyone deserves love!

We also decided to get a subscription to Crunchyroll. It’s been so nice to watch some Anime if I can’t sleep, a lot better than doom scrolling! All these things make me feel like I’ve reverted to a younger version of myself. I used to be super into Anime and Manga, and I’m getting back into it.

Snuggled my dogs A LOT
My dogs aren’t huge fans of hugs and kisses but they love to play. I spent a lot of time playing with them and then hugging them when they couldn’t fight back. My dogs have been a constant source of love for me. They force me outside even when I felt bed was a much better place. It’s so important to have something that pushes you out of your comfort zone and I’m so thankful for my dogs. Through them, I’ve been able to meet a lot of sweet people that walk their own dogs in our neighborhood. And of course I get to know the other dogs that live around us. We have some adorable faces and I always lose it when I see a new puppy!

The post A little personal time appeared first on A Daily Lee.

If I keep them busy, I don’t have to deal with them.

Fatherhood isn’t for everyone
That ideology worked about as good as you think it would. He wanted us to be interested in other things. That way we would keep to ourselves. An old computer was the best thing be got as a hand me down. That’s when my brother and I began to invest our time in technology.

There were times when he took us to museums and art exhibits, times when he could have been a parent. Those were few and far between though… And for show. He accompanied us on school trips to show he was a good dad. He took us on vacations to show he was a good dad. All these events had shifts. For a few hours he would clock in and look like a dutiful father. He clocked out the rest of the time.

And now that I’m an adult, I understand. I know why my father was he way he was. He probably never wanted children. Sure things were great when we were young but it fell apart as we got older. His glory days were when he sailed on a ship. He often spoke fondly of those times to anyone who would listen. But never about his children. I know that he loved us, but he didn’t love being a father. His feelings were taboo, he was a regretful parent.

And you know what? I forgive him. He came from India, a place where family is everything, even if you don’t want it to be. I don’t fault him for wanting to follow his dreams and clinging to them when they were ripped away. He did a lot of abusive things due to his addiction to alcohol. I don’t fault him for any of these things… He was only human too.

In remembrance
This year, today, he would have been 64.

If there was a bad habit he taught me, it was that my personal life and troubles, are my own. At his funeral, the community only had shining words for him. They didn’t know what he was like. I still struggle to reach out for help when I need it.

But if there was a good habit he taught me, it’s that you never should stop learning.

And if there was something I promised to him after he died, it was that I would try and sing more. He caught me singing once and commented that he didn’t hear me sing often. I only sang when I was happy… Something else I needed to work on.

So dad, wherever you are, know that I forgive you. I know that your life wasn’t what you wanted it to be and I know that you gave up a lot. How you dealt with it was terrible for everyone involved but in the end I forgive you. Because we’re all human, and we’re all trying our best.

Know that not all parents deserve forgiveness. Some of them are worse than others, and some don’t deserve any sympathy. My father doesn’t fall into that category but if you do have a parent who does… Know that you have the power to be better than them. Don’t follow in their footsteps. You deserve better than that.

The post Forgiving my Father appeared first on A Daily Lee.

Taking time off
I won’t hold myself accountable for X amount of posts per week. This has been a beautiful space for me to express myself. I want what I write to be authentic to who I am. That can’t happen if I just do it for the views. So I want to take a step back and write when the inspiration comes. And it does come! Trust me. I want to be able to write without feeling exhausted all the time. So it’s important for me to lessen my work load. Sander had this week off and I used decided to take it off too. It felt so good to sit back and relax. I slept a lot and played video games I previously put aside.

Making hard decisions
I won’t be doing Nanowrimo for 2020. I know, I celebrate it every year. But I decided to skip it because it will be another thing stacked on my plate. I still love creative writing, it’s in my blood. But instead I’ll do personal projects and reflecting on the stories I want to write in the future. I won’t say it’s the end of Nanowrimo for me but I want to make a post addressing the 2020 skip so look forward to that!

In summary, it’s ok to be tired. It’s ok to feel drained and give into creature comforts. But the important thing to do, is bounce back. Please, if you are also suffering from writer’s fatigue, give yourself the time to recover.

The post Suffering from Writer’s Fatigue appeared first on A Daily Lee.

Get ready for the chill
This is a bit obvious but as someone who came from a home without seasons, this is important to me. I’ve got to take inventory of my clothing to make sure I have enough warm clothes. I need to switch out my sneakers for waterproof boots. I’ve lived in hoodies and yoga pants in the spring so I added one more to my wardrobe for autumn. It’s been wonderful to live in basics this year.

Finish my to read list
I’ve had a few books on my list for months now. Most of them are half finished and I’d like to knock them out before 2021. I have a new routine that I hope will help me. Instead of sitting on the couch to draw, I could sit at my desk and play an audiobook. How this didn’t occur to me before, I have no idea. I think it’s because I was so content on the couch. It was comfortable and cozy and I could have the white noise of the television behind me.

Instead I’ll use that time to learn and grow. I didn’t read as much as I wanted to and wrote even less. I kept up a few good habits but I became heavily dependant on those things to make me happy. In some cases, like art, I’ve seen a lot of improvement.

Halloween Prep
Halloween is just around the corner and it’s the time when I’m most home sick. I miss all the holiday spirit and Spirit Halloween Stores. It’s a known fact that a sure sign of autumn is the sudden appearance of Spirit Halloween stores. They come up in rentable store fronts and feature the most amazing Halloween decor. I miss all of the tasty Halloween snack variants too. I’ve found My American Market and they already have a few items in stock. I also need to put together a menu for a tasty dinner since Halloween falls on a Saturday!

Thanksgiving Prep
Thanksgiving this year will be small because of social distancing. I’ve got to reevaluate what dishes I love the most and which ones I can skip. If it’s just a meal for two then we can’t have too much food!

Embrace the season
This too is obvious but think about it. How fast did spring and summer fly by? Summer was a scorcher for us. I slept on the couch for a week because the living room was hotter than the bedroom. And overnight the weather changed. My time was filled with self obsession to boost my mood. And so I ignored the seasons.

The post My Autumn to do list appeared first on A Daily Lee.

Easy entertainment
My parents were too busy working to babysit. Like many other immigrants in the 1990’s, they owned their own business. They would pick us up from school and bring us to work. Of course what better way to entertain young kids than to sit them before a TV and put on a movie. There was a movie rental store a few businesses down so once a week my dad would take us out to pick out 3 films. I remember grabbing a lot of cartoon titles but one I always went back to was My Neighbor Totoro. There were dozens of other animated films but something about My Neighbor Totoro resonated in my small brain and I had to get it week after week.

Stories of Spirits and Guardians
My Neighbor Totoro was about two sisters, Satsuki and Mei, and their father who move out to the countryside. Their mother is in the hospital and the new deep country home made visits easier. The movie follows them as they adjust and grow to love both their new home and each other. Once huge (literally) character is the gigantic forest spirit Totoro. Said to only appear to children and those in need, Totoro lives in an ancient Camphor tree. One sign of Totoro’s movement is the wind, so if you feel a huge gust go by you can be sure Totoro is out and about! This first step into the world of fantasy stuck with me hard and that wonder continues to live inside of me. Because of this movie, I had dreamed of living in a countryside home in a town forgotten by time.

Growing up and believing
The next Studio Ghibli film of my youth was Kiki’s Delivery Service. It’s the coming of age story of a young witch named Kiki. At the age of 13, every young witch must set out and be independent for a year. They have to rely on their skills and talents to grow and create a business trade. Unable to find any talent in herself, she resorts to the only skill she has, flying! Kiki uses her ability to fly to start a delivery service. But, doubt brews inside of her half way through her journey. The loss of her confidence results in the loss of her powers.

Kiki’s story hit me hard as a child and even now it’s my go to movie when I’m down. Sometimes it takes the story of a young witch in training to remind me that I’m fine the way I am. My skills, talents, journey are my own and they belong to no one else.

Refined Art
I had always wanted to be an art student but I was young and stupid and didn’t follow my dreams. When I went back to school I began to watch more movies based on their art style and execution. A film from a little over 10 years ago, Ponyo hits all the perfect points. It’s a gorgeous retelling of The Little Mermaid and my favorite version of the old fable. The animation is fluid, gorgeous and blows me out of the water everytime I watch it! If you haven’t seen this one yet, please do. It will change the way you feel about water in animated films. Even though some scary stuff happens in it, this film makes me so nostalgic for the beach.

Always there for a good cry
Boy, was I an emotional teenager. A difficult divorce, my parents dreams for my school goals hovering over my head, and the constant need for validation from my peers created a disgusting period in my life. Being the introvert I am, I clammed up during therapy, and wrote often in a journal. I would hide everything and anything from my parents. That included terrible grades and questionable tastes, but also achievements and my dreams for the future. I felt alone in a world where my voice was small and insignificant.

And the movie that captures all those feelings for me was Howl’s Moving Castle where I found myself in Sophie. She’s plain girl tasked with inheriting her mother’s hat shop. The sad bit for her is that she believes her sisters are far more beautiful and smarter than she. So she resigns herself to her fate until she meets Howl.

I’m not saying that Howl inspired her. But because she got mixed up in his mess, Sophie had to embark on a journey that changes her forever. Her personal growth still inspires me to this day. We aren’t bound to anything in life, and it’s possible to reach for something greater. But the one scene that makes me cry everytime I watch it, is when Sophie’s bawling her eyes out. For years I convinced myself that crying would get me nowhere but seeing her let it all out… Encouraged me to do the same. Never forget sometimes you need a good cry!

I could go on and on about how much I love Studio Ghibli films but I won’t bore you! On top of beautiful animation, the music for each film is spectacular. I love listening to Lo-fo remixes of Studio Ghibli films when I work. You can find my favorite one here! Studio Ghibli also presents strong, independent ladies who are everyday girls. They aren’t sugar coated and they weren’t created for the male gaze. It’s another part of what makes their movies wonderful. The ladies of Ghibli are role models portrayed in the most positive light.

The post Studio Ghibli and my childhood appeared first on A Daily Lee.

I had only known Sander for a little over a year before he decided to travel to America to see me. We had met online in the summer of 2014 and spoke casually about our interests. It was in December of that year that we really hit it off. In 2015 he decided to come and visit me for Christmas. We spent three weeks together and the rest is history.

I had 90 Day Fiance: The Other Way on in the background when I was doing the dishes and something resonated in me. These were feelings that I hadn’t spoken about or even thought about in ages. So what exactly did the couples remind me of? Let’s get to it!

Leaving behind everyone
Oh boy the episode I saw had tears and a lot of them. It’s difficult to decide to move far away from family. Family is a rock for many people and to leave that rock behind means a future of uncertainty. There’s no support system to fall back on. Most of the American citizens cried as they discussed their plans. “I’m going to meet my lover in a different country and we’re going to happy.” I can only imagine it as a form of betrayal for the family members. Some people were leaving behind parents, while others had adult children to say bye to. Nothing about moving is easy and the emotional toll can be just the beginning of the trials to come.

Culture shock
For me the biggest thing was the language barrier. In the show, some of the couples have terrible communication due to a language barrier. I’m thankful that Sander’s English is just as good as his Dutch. For some of the couples, English is the only way for communication… But not every significant other can speak it well and times broken English is the best that can be managed. To make matters worse it’s possible that the families can’t speak English at all. The communication barrier makes matters worse when cultural norms are ignored and gone against.

I know there’s a woman right now who’s proud to wear what she wants to and enjoys alcohol. Her boyfriend and his family were less than pleased with her behavior… You can imagine how well that went.

Alone in a foreign land
Remember all those comforts of home? Your favorite foods, fun places to visit, your go to places to shop for home essentials… Now think about what it’s like to live without it. That ice cream shop you enjoyed in the summer. Or what about that delicious restaurant you went to for every birthday. Even the simplest things, such as your favorite flavors of dishes you grew up with. The Netherlands often leaves me wanting more out of my meals so I make my own. It’s been harder since the stores only allow one person per shopping trip.

But this is still a westernized country. I can’t even imagine how it is for the couples who travel to a 3rd world country to be with a lover. Sometimes I pout because my cheesecake didn’t turn out the way I wanted. That’s just a 1st world problem. There was one couple who lived in a village with a well for water. Oh my gosh, I would crumble.

Unsure of the future
The biggest risk of such a venture is the unknown. I had no idea what it would be like to live with Sander. Infact, it was my first time moving out of my mom’s house and in with someone else. I was 28 when I left home and I consider myself to be damn lucky. Some of these couples are struggling to pay rent. They’re all hoping for a better life in a new country. And sometimes it works out but many times it doesn’t. Again, I was damn lucky.

Sander’s got a fantastic job, a beautiful flat, and I have the luxury of staying home to do as I please. Others have not been so lucky. And that’s such a hard thing to consider. If you place all your happiness on a hope and a dream… If it fails, then the fall can feel like the worst in the world.

A struggle with the government
One thing that is so problematic about the Dutch integration system, is that all paperwork is in Dutch. Now this wouldn’t be an issue for someone born in The Netherlands and speaks Dutch. How can someone who has never heard Dutch before, expected to speak it? I was lucky and came from America, which shares the same alphabet. But what about refugees who have never had an education. How can they read the Latin alphabet if they’ve never seen it before? My tutor told me there are dozens of articles about how these people struggle to pass their tests. They pay the fees for schooling, they slog through classes and fail in the end. Then come the fines…

The whole system can be counterproductive and even against the success of the students. Lucky for me, I had more than a few people who spoke Dutch. I can’t imagine how it is for the others who tried to move to a country where the language is nothing but gibberish at every turn.

The post I left my country for love in The Netherlands appeared first on A Daily Lee.

American Patriotism
People often talk about America and how intense the patriotism is. The thing is, that’s not how I see America. There are loud people in any culture but it doesn’t mean they define everyone. For me, being an American is acceptance for all. My family came from nothing. My parents work hard, worked their asses off, so that my brother and I could go to a private school. They wanted the best for us, and that in a sense, is how I see American culture. Families who want better for their children. They left everything behind because the promise of America was better than their homeland. My brother and I are the result and so we are First Generation Americans.

That’s the sort of America I grew up with. All the stores in the shopping center where my dad has his business… They were immigrants who ended up thriving. I grew up in the 90’s so my view of America is far different from what it is now. And it pains me to the core. I wish I could share my memories of a more wholesome America but I can’t. I will always carry those memories with me. The idea that America used to be a place where anyone could call home, no matter what the country of origin was.

Unrelatable
My parents grew up in a Catholic area of Mumbai. They had to learn Hindi, Marathi, French and I think a little German. They learned about several other religions other than their own. And yet they shared nothing with me as I grew up. I didn’t learn about Indian culture, religion, politics. I ended up becoming a Third culture kid. In India they call it an ABCD or an American-Born Confused Desi. I’ve only been to one Indian wedding and that’s when I was 8 years old. I don’t even have any photos from it. I understand that my parents wanted me to assimilate into American culture… But I wished they had shared some their memories.

The lack of knowledge of Indian culture has sort of left me in the middle. I can’t identify as being Indian because I don’t know what it means to be one. For years it left me feeling lost. That same loss of identity drove me to search for meaning in other cultures. And in a way it felt like I was culture-less.

Instead I became what it was to be “American.” I love hotdogs and hamburgers, apple pie and Thanksgiving. Halloween became my favorite holiday. I drool over Orange Chicken and have a strong sense of wanderlust. In a way you can call me a “basic bitch” because it’s what I was drawn to. You can bet that I’ll order a Pumpkin Spice Latte in the autumn! Because it’s the type of culture I grew up with and so I adopted it as my own.

The only aspect of Indian culture that I’m familiar with is South Indian food, which is what they grew up on. I can’t even say that I’m well educated in it because I can name 10 dishes and that’s it. And I can’t cook any of them.

The Minority
I was the only Indian kid in my school until my brother was old enough to join me. While I was never treated as an outsider, it was hard for me to make friends. I was painfully shy and only spoke when spoken to. None of that has changed as I grew older. I’m thankful that people are drawn to me because let’s face it, if I had the task of making my own friends, I would have none.

Unprepared
My parents had no experience with the American school system. I had no idea I had to apply for college when I was in my senior year in high school. Instead I waited until the last moment and was lucky to get into the local community college. I had no idea how the system worked because I didn’t care to look into it. My parents wanted me to be a doctor. They had divorced at this point and were too busy with their own problems. So I never looked into how the school system worked. I’m not sure what I was thinking at the time, maybe that I would coast my way through life. All I knew is that I didn’t want to be told what to do. My answer was to shut down and figure something else out.

The Indian Lifestyle
The one thing we kept up was the idea that my brother and I were unwed, we would live at home. I heard stories of my friends moving out at 18. They attended college in other states and spread their wings. My mom wanted to keep us at home as long as possible. And of course I complied. It was an easy way for me to live, and a lazy way to live. I attended college with a half-assed mentality and worked a part time job.

I recall my dad once telling my brother that I didn’t need to go to college. That I would find some rich man and settle down and have kids with. On the other had, my dad had wished for my brother to join the Navy or another sea-bound occupation. Gender roles were still very alive in my dad’s eyes. I’m thankful that I didn’t have an arranged marriage for myself, but I wish my mother could have chosen her own path. Her unhappy marriage wasn’t her choice. I got to see what an unhappy marriage was like. I’m in my 30’s now and I don’t have a strong desire to get married.

Now that I’m older, if I have a desire to learn something, I can do it on my own. So while I’m sad I don’t understand the culture of my parents, I’m thankful that I can access that information now. Sometimes there are news reports of terrible crimes against women in India. It wasn’t a perfect, and now it’s fallen so far, but I’m so thankful that I was born in America. It was a place where I could decide what I wanted to do without the fear of being a woman in public. I could choose to go to school and I had the chance to work in any field I wanted to. I can’t say all my decisions were good ones, but at least I was free to be who I wanted to be.

The post Growing up as a First Generation American appeared first on A Daily Lee.

But what is a digital detox? It’s a period of time you take to totally separate yourself from all things digital. For some this is signing out of digital media like Instagram or Facebook. For others it’s putting down the phone for an extended period of time. Either way, it’s your choice on how far you take it. If you can’t bring yourself to take time off from the digital world, consider doing a digital declutter.

I spent the time playing Animal Crossing and drinking tea. Booker loves to sleep on the ground next to the couch so I had the privilege of warming my feet on her soft fur. I also watched a few of my favorite movies from the 90’s… Let me just say that those movies were super racist in the name of humor. Yikes.

Anyway, I felt better today after my time off and felt motivated to be more productive than usual. I’ve only got a few more emails to write before I can retire to the couch for some good old Animal Crossing. My island will ever be a 5 star island but that’s ok! I enjoy the wildness of what I have going on and I refuse to have only 200 trees in my game!

I also created a new spread for my bullet journal. But I made it with the intent of keeping it around all summer. We might get back into doing outside things at the end of them month though! And if we can go outside again, I’d love to share my future monthly spread.

I also did a lot of thinking on what else I could write about and I came up with a few good ideas. I’m excited to share them too. I love the bursts of love I get for this space. It’s grown into an intimate piece of myself and I’m thankful for those of you who decided to come along for the ride. I promise the future will be just as exciting and I can’t wait to share!

The post I took the weekend off for a digital detox appeared first on A Daily Lee.

I feel different about the education I received. I went to a private school, which touted the best college prep available. But even going to a good school provided skimmings over important history dates. And when I think about the “good” education I got, I think about the kids who had no education at all. All those voices kept in the shadows. It is indeed a dark time for the country I was born in. It helps to know that people are trying to get on the right track but it’s going to be years before the results come in. I just hope it’s in my life time.

Aside from trying to stay positive I’ve been doing my best to stay busy. Any time I have downtime, I look for something to do instead of becoming one with the couch and my Switch. So here are a few things I’ve relied on to keep me occupied.

Podcasts
I’m currently in another reader’s block and I can’t even read for fun. I know it will pass, but in the meantime I’ve got my most favorite Podcast, My Favorite Murder. Oh man, nothing feels better than listening to killers meet their karmic destiny. I’ve been listening to it a little less these days but I tune in when I can. A good story has always been an obsession of mine and when it comes to real life horror, the stakes are the highest. The duo that hosts this podcast use comedy to deal with their fears and I honestly need that ray of sun the most right now.

Frequent Cleaning
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve cleaned the flat these past few months. I’ve Konmaried everything but Sander’s closet and hobby space, which I will leave up to him. I’ve made a lot of donations to the local thrift stores too. We’ve finally scheduled a pick up for an old bookshelf we aren’t using either. Our space looks beautiful, just in time for summer and those endless hours of evening sunlight. The only thing that we could improve on is putting up curtains and taking down the plastic blinds that we have. But Ikea can get busy and we don’t want to stand in the sun for hours just to get some supplies. Until then we’ll just have to wait.

Growing a Jungle
Oh boy guys, I have a lot of green in the flat now! I’ve claimed the corner on the couch that gets plenty of sun from the balcony door. And instead of leaving it open to walk though, I’ve decided to place plants there! It’s a comforting space where I sit and get cozy with the fresh air right in my face. Of course this is the main reason I get stuck on the couch so I limit my time there. I’ll only sit there in the evenings if Sander isn’t on the couch. We have a loveseat and he enjoys spreading his legs on it. And of course the dogs love to sleep there with him so it’s occupied a lot of the time. But if I have to name where I feel most safe, it’s here.

My baby Youtube channel and gaming
I’ve been sinking a lot of time into my Youtube channel and being so productive feels good. My online friends watch the videos and we get to laugh about the horrors my Sims see. Another thing I’ve picked up is late night gaming once a week with my brother and our long time best friend. We’ve known him for almost 20 years now. 20 years! That’s some serious mileage!

We’ve been playing Dying Light, which is an open world zombie game but it’s only once a week since our time zones don’t match up well. A few weeks ago I got to see the sunrise before I got into bed! Not something that a 32 year old lady should do but it was too much fun to stop early. I spent a lot of time playing video games with my brother when we were young. There was a point in our lives when we were on the run from our dad (with our mom) and our tiny portable TV and Playstation 1 kept us busy. Needless to say I miss my brother more than I thought I would.

Baking a little too much
Soo, I know I’m supposed to stay away from sweets but I’ve had crazy cravings for some American foods. Last week I made some strawberry cheesecake and this week I made sugar cookies. I think I’ll take a break for now but we bought a new mixer and I know it will call to me again soon. If you have any recommendations on delicious baked goods let me know! I don’t want to make chocolate treats so that narrows down the field by a lot. Still, there’s so much to bake and so little time! I enjoyed the soda bread I made a while back and may make it again.

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